Ways to Simplify Life

Tiny things bringing simple love to my home.

“We were never meant to live life accumulating stuff. We were meant to live simply enjoying the experiences of life, the people of life, and the journey of life - not the things of life.”

― by Joshua Becker

I have already written my story about finding simplicity through the introduction of minimalism in my home, but also the creation of habits in everyday life. I found it at one point in my life, when I felt sad, burdened by things and desires, when I felt lonely and misunderstood, caught in a space and time in which I was looking for happiness with buying material things and creating habits that did not support my essence or personality. I grew up in a simple home, in the countryside, with a family that created small moments, with a mother who tried to be present and created small rituals and a magical, free childhood for us children. I grew up in that house where we didn't have much and we didn't know what it meant to want different. We had everything we needed, but we didn't have excess, we didn't have too many clothes, too many mugs, too many toys, too many decorative pillows or decorations on the shelves. We lived simply and as children were extremely happy and satisfied with everything we had. That simplicity of living, that satisfaction with fewer things, that gratitude that my mother created in us, remained etched in me forever. They shaped my vision of life, motherhood, upbringing, living. And when I got stuck in the cycle of creating excess things, creating obligations that I despised and that I knew were stealing my time, there came a point in my life when I realized that I had to return to my childlike spirit. At that moment, I was neither a wife nor a mother yet, but a girl who felt trapped, who felt that time was flying by and that I was not living a purposeful life. I was the girl who, through the loss of a loved one, realized that life is worth every moment and that it deserves my complete presence. From that moment on, I set out to simplify my life. Soon, I became a wife, and then a mother, and I started to create simplicity of living even more strongly. And I knew I'll fail on this path, but I decided to rise up and learn from each fail and continue. And I knew organizing things neatly wasn't my solution. It was to live with less. I simplified my wardrobe and finally found everything I liked to wear, everything I felt beautiful in and comfortable. And with that step I started to feel like some layers of emotional clutter were pealing of me too. I cleaned my kitchen of excess bowls, plates, cups, utensils. I organized the pantry. I removed all decorative objects from my flat surfaces and left only a few vases with dried flowers and a diffuser. I decorated the walls with family pictures, some art pieces I made and objects that will remain in our best memories. I removed everything else and created our little nest, comfort, space, time to be present and shared moments without being burdened with visual excess. When I gave birth, I decided to buy neutral clothes, a minimum number of clothes, a minimum number of toys. When the little one grew up, I also read a book that completely changed my view of the children's world and the role of toys in it. Then I decided to make an agreement with my relatives about buying toys and over time move all the ones that the little one won't play with. His crib, plush toys, decorations above the crib. I created everything with simplicity in my mind. And even now, I'll find things to remove, to give away because we find no happiness or purpose in them. But there are so many less things like those than before.

“Clarity about what matters provides clarity about what does not.”

― by Cal Newport

In this season of life, with my little one who is now 2 years old, our little apartment can be completely out of order in half an hour. Toys scattered around, books too, kitchen utensils on living room table after some kitchen play etc. But I embrace that with my whole heart now, because I know how little time I'll have to give to tidy it up when the time comes. Because every item, every toy and every book had it's own designated place now. For years now I've been learning and realizing how this simplified life brings so much to me, so much more happiness with my home and mundane tasks than ever before. I realized how much clutter can create a barrier between people, between me and my husband, between me and my child. It steals our time, it steals our joy. I adore motherhood, and I really believe it's much easier to find joy in it more often when you have more time being present with your child and have to give less time to take care of stuff around home. Even reading studies on this subjects, I learned that amount of stuff we have in our home plays a significant role in our stress levels, mental health and even physical health. And whenever I talks about minimalism people look at me a bit weird. I realized it's because they often think it means life and home in a restrictive way of meaning. But minimalistic home, simplified home doesn't have to mean blank walls, no vases on your kitchen table, no cute mugs or no more then 10 toys in your kid's room. It can mean whatever you make of it as long as it's creating safe, peaceful and less cluttered space. As long as it gives you more time to be present, to be creative, to find mundane beauty and to find joy in everyday tasks even. At least it's what means for me. I leave spaces empty because it means simplicity to me and it brings me calm. I decorate and choose clothes with neutral and earthy tones because those are the tones I love and feel most comfortable in. When I bring new pieces in my home I choose the ones that have meaning and purpose. That's my simplicity. And with that in mind, these are 10 ways to simplify life, 10 ways that helped me and still help simplify my life.

Be a curator of your life. Slowly cut things out until you're left only with what you love, with what's necessary, whit what makes you happy.

-by Leo Babauta

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF. My first way to simplify life was to get to know myself. How? I asked myself a few questions and after honestly answering them I knew what kind of values I wanted to bring to my home, my marriage, my motherhood. To my relationship with things.

What do I want to simplify?

How I want my life to look like?

How I want my home to look like to bring me calm and peace?

What lights me up?

What am I making space and time for with this way of life?

DECLUTTERING HOME. Decluttering my home was my most important step after asking myself those questions. Reducing visual clutter helps to reduce constant noise, constant tasks swirling in our minds and that feeling we simply cannot fulfill everything around our home. Every one of us knows the best what needs to go and what needs to stay. I tend to ask myself a few questions too while decluttering: Does this item support this way of life? Does this item serves it's purpose and will it be useful to me and my family for a long time? Does it bring me joy or bring some beautiful memories in me? After decluttering it's time for organizing and designating home for every item. And even before I bring something new into my home I know where it's going to be.

• I decided I will not have a messy and cluttered kitchen that I cannot clean at the end of my day. I did not want to observe messy kitchen, but to tidy it before having my evening routine. So I decluttered mugs, utensils, pottery bowls we didn't use and to leave only those kitchen items I use daily. That's how I made it so much easier to clean it up before going to bed.

• I also realized my bedroom should be my safe and calm space that will provide us good night sleep and rest. So I decided to leave it pretty simple, with simple white bedding, with simple pillows and with simple, clean nightstand. Just a little vase with some dried meadow flowers and my water bottle.

• Wardrobe was the first thing I decluttered. And when I removed all the clothes I didn't like or even didn't want to wear or didn't felt comfortable in I finally knew what my style is. I finally knew what I want to have in my closet.

• Makeup was one of the things I also decided to simplify. I didn't have much to start with but I had for sure a few products I never even used. So now I use only what I love, and I replaced all my toxic products with clean ones. I wanted products that are easy on my skin, that are helpful, nourishing and healthy. I even started making my own face creams, body butters and even diaper cream for my little one. With simple and healthy ingredients.

• Sentimental things weren't easy for decluttering but I found a way. Everything that didn't bring up meaningful memories or joy and everything I knew deeply down that I really didn't want to keep anymore.

• Toys. After reading this book Simplicity Parenting I realized how much simple children bedroom, simple corner with few beloved books and keeping toys that a child plays the most with can actually bring to that child. More space to run and hide and roll over and jump. More clarity, more imagination, less stress, less decisions about what to even play with. Toys all over, toys children don't really play with often are overstimulating and overwhelming them. And us to, as parents. So now we have a box in which I keep toys he played as newborn or toys I know I want to keep for my second child. All other toys are organized in baskets and wooden boxes on shelves he can easily reach. Books too. I kept only toys that are used every week, that he plays often with and all the others are at his grandparent's or gifted to someone.

CREATING SIMPLE WARDROBE. After seeing how light it felt to look at my simplified closet, to reach for clothes I knew I love and want to wear every day, it became so easy to pair pieces with each other and to simply pull something out without even too much looking. So I decided to keep that simplicity with buying newborn clothes too. And now my two years old has a very simple wardrobe too. Husband too. And whenever I want to buy something for myself or my little one, I will first put it on my wishlist and wait for some time. Sometimes a week, sometimes a month even. And if I think of it often, if I really want it and I'm sure I'll love it and wear it for long time, if I come back to in on my list and decide it's purposeful and it's something we need, I'll buy it.

PRACTICING GRATITUDE JOURNALING. This one is something that really changed me a lot, and changed my views on mundane life, tasks, home and family even. I started doing this three or more years ago by simply adding it to my morning routine. I wake up early and try to have some time for myself (sometimes it's not like that, sometimes I have to have that time with my little one, so I adapt and do what I can). After waking up I'll go out for a few minutes, on my balcony, just to sit in that silence, breath fresh air and simply observe nature. After that I'll go to my kitchen, boil some water and prepare myself a cup of tea. That's were my gratitude journaling comes. After bringing that cup of tea to my living room table, I'll pull out a book I'm currently reading and my journal too. And before reading a book, I'll open a blank page of my journal and write five or more things I'm most grateful in that moment. Sometimes it's the most simple things, tiny things like gratitude for finding something, for reading a book, for candles, for dinner, for a walk I had day before, for playing with my little one. Sometimes it's the big, life things, like being grateful for my family, for their health, for the food and safety we have in this world... But this practice changed how I'm entering new day. I'm more positive about it, I don't feel overwhelmed by all the tasks I have to fulfill that day, I'm having more patience with my little one, I'm looking at those mundane moments as something I have a chance to live through, to live with and to be present in. I don't know how to explain it better, but after writing it on that blank page, I'm carrying those reminders of gratitude through my whole day, reminders to be more present, to see difficult moments as something I can lift up from, to see mundane beauty all around me.

With my sister and our dogs on some beautiful autumnal paths.

BEING MORE IN NATURE. If you read my stories, especially ones about slow life in the countryside you know how much I love walking. Whenever we are there, in the countryside we are often going for walks in the morning and evening too. Through the meadows, along the forests and little groves, through the pastures and fields. Seeking some nature wonders, sometimes seeking silence and even solitude. Nature can heal, I'm certain of it. It opened my eyes many times. Silence I encountered on my walks showed me how comfortable I can be with myself. How solitude can silence our mind and even bring solution to your worries. Or take them away even. Walking is an essential in my life. I'll bring my little boy on my walks. And when we are in our city apartment him and I will go on our morning walks in the park or alongside the river. I love those moments with him.

SIMPLIFIED MEALS AND MAKING MEAL PLANS. Oh this one is something I needed time to go on board with. Why? Well I grew up in a home that always had big, diverse lunch, especially on weekends. There was always some cake too, and not a tiny cake, a simple cake, but cake with much time invested in it. And I loved it, my sister and my brother, and my dad loved it. But I know my mom invested so many hours and had so little rest and so little time for herself with all that work. And now, when I have just one child, I don't know how she managed to do it all with the tree of us running around her. It's hard, and I'm so grateful for everything she gave us, but I would loved if she sometimes kept it simple and had some free time. I know how essential rest and carving some time for ourselves in this motherhood time means. It means a lot for me, especially after a long day, when my little hasn't had a nap and when he isn't thrilled with me washing dishes and making lunch. So that's why I began to plan meals for everyday of the week. Sometimes I don't and when I don't, it becomes a bit chaotic during the week. This way I know what I have to buy for the week, I know what I have to use up in my fridge and my family knows what to expect. I try to create a full meal, but I try to simplify it. If one day I decided to bake bread, then I'll probably prepare pumpkin soup that day, which doesn't take that much time, and we'll have it the next day too. In addition, I will also put the chicken and potatoes to bake together in the oven and simply pull them out when the alarm goes off. If I have to prepare a slightly more complex lunch that will require my full-time work, then I'll probably prepare chia pudding or gummies the night before as a snack for the little one that will last for a few days. If you can, prepare ahead of time, freeze or prepare it an evening before. Whenever I do that I'm grateful I decided that way, because then I have a big part of the day for my little one and do some easy, simple home tasks.

CREATING BOUNDARIES WITH TECHNOLOGY. This one is still tricky sometimes for me. I'm on social media and even with these boundaries I fail. Scrolling on Instagram and even looking too much at some posts and reading some stories that feel wholesome can trigger me. It can wake up that feeling of having to have more, of not being good enough, or beautiful enough or not having a good enough home. But now I know how to change mindset and come back to myself. So I've been going to bed earlier for about three years, lately I've been trying to go to bed no later than 10 o'clock in the afternoon. I know that if I bring my phone to the bedside table, I will spend some more time on it, and it will be the first thing I reach for in the morning. And I am aware that this is not how I create peace in the morning or peace before bed. Therefore, before going to bed, I leave my mobile phone in the living room to charge and go to bed with a calm head. Knowing that I will get the required number of hours of sleep and be ready for my morning on time. Likewise, during the day I consciously decide to leave my mobile phone on our working table so that I don't reach for it in front of my child. That's how I try to be completely devoted to him and our time together. Cell phone time and activities on it, laptop time and work on writing the blog I leave for when my little one goes for an afternoon nap or when he goes to bed.

TIDYING UP BEFORE BED. I remember how nervous, angry and dissatisfied I was when I woke up in the morning and was greeted by unwashed dishes in the sink and mess in my living room. Back then, I didn't have a quiet morning routine or time to read or write a gratitude journal. This is because I would spend that time cleaning up the kitchen. And one day I remembered that every night I could set aside half an hour before going to bed and clean the kitchen. Now that I have my little one, I use that time to store his toys and books too. So in the morning, we are greeted by a calm space, ready for play and everyday life.

SAYING NO. This is one way we can really simplify life. But at the same time it is a habit that needs to be practiced and that you really have to want to adopt. I, for one, have a problem with this habit. Ever since I was a little girl, it was extremely difficult for me to say no to what I didn't want, not to go to my aunt's house for a few days, not to sleep at a friend's house, not to go to the playground etc. I accepted many suggestions because I felt it would be rude to turn them down. And that somehow stayed with me. Ever since I had a child, I realized how precious our time is, how precious my time is, how much I want to be present and use that time in such a way that will means happiness and calm and peace for my family and me. I decided to read books on self-development and try to fight my habit of accepting all obligations, events and conversations that I don't really want in my life. Since I had a child, I realized how much other people allow themselves, how much they think they can interfere in our lives, especially in the decisions of one mother. To try to interfere in my way of raising my child, to question child development, weaning from diapers, weaning from breastfeeding. There were, and still are, comments everywhere. I learned how much people allow themselves the freedom to just take the child out of my hands without asking because they think the family has the right to do so. And that's where I encountered frustration with my inability to say ...no, you can't act like that, please don't do that again, I don't want to attend that family gathering, I don't want to celebrate my child's birthday that way. It is very difficult. Very difficult, especially for someone who was used to pleasing people until the age of thirty. But after I became a mother, I realized how important it is to develop this habit, learn to respect myself and set boundaries for others. It's okay to refuse, it's okay to say no, it's okay to not be in the mood for something, to be tired. It's okay to disagree with other people's values, it's okay to differ from other family members in terms of upbringing your child, it's okay to have your own ideas, your own inspirations, your own desires. And it's okay to ask other people to respect that. To respect you.

Creating time and space for things that matter the most.

And living this way of life, I'm proud of myself because I really returned to my family values, to simplicity I was striving for all those years ago. I love this life of mine. Why? What was the most important lesson I realized during this path? Well, it was a realization that I will not bring any of those things with my soul when I leave this beautiful world. A realization that love, presence, looking into my little one's curious eyes and creating memories with my husband and all my loved ones will be with me forever into eternity. A realization that the goal of my life is not to own all the things I think I should or all that I desire to own but to seek those mundane moments of beauty where all that I own brings purpose and serves us, not the other way around. I realized that striving for less and practicing simplicity means life full of purpose, love and beauty.

Simplicity is not about deprivation. Simplicity is about a greater appreciation for things that really matter.

Unknown

Little suggestions:

• Read more about creating home with simplicity and love and joy in mind.

• More on finding simplicity and stillness in this year.

• A story about me finding practice of gratitude journaling.

• If you like my stories here, head to my Substack page, Notes from Meadow for more of them.